oh, for fuck's sake

Media Charged With Sexism in Clinton Coverage

Yeah. Um, when calling out the media on the overwhelming amount of misogyny and sexism thrown at Hillary Clinton throughout her campaign (which, by the way, this article covers about maybe 1/1000th of it), I suggest you don't use A HEADLESS PHOTO OF HER TITS.

You might have just as well ended your article with "P.S. Here's some more. Love, The Media."

What the fucking hell.

Here's a photo for you, New York Times:

Most of the time, I love words

Other times...not so much.

Let's take a look at this lovely CNN article today:
Victim or vixen? Contrasting views at R. Kelly trial.

#1: Let's start by remembering that in almost every article you read regarding this trial, at some point they say something along the lines of, "on the tape, Kelly is having sex with a girl as young as 13" or "Kelly's sex with a 13-year-old." Which is erroneous right there. You can call it whatever you'd like to call it, CNN, but a grown man doesn't have sex with a 13-year-old girl, he rapes her. He may not be dragging her into the bushes or beating her face in and he may not be a stranger who pulled her into an unsuspecting van off the street. But he's not having sex with her. He's raping her.

#2: Now, let's look at the definitions of vixen, since CNN seems to think vixen / victim is an "either / or" situation.

A. Vixen: a female fox
Okay, irrelevant since beasiality is an entirely different topic. Although, still, I'd like to point out that once again, here's an oh-so-handy comparison between women and a sly, sneaky animal who's out to trick you. 'Cause really, that's what all of us with tits are tryin' to do.

B. Vixen: an ill-tempered (argumentative, belligerant) or quarrelsome woman. A malicious woman with a fierce temper. Shrewish or malicious.
None of those things automatically put a woman into a "non-rapeable" category. I can be ill-tempered. I can be argumentative. I could be malicious, I don't consider myself to be, but I could be.

And you know what? I can still be raped.

And it still wouldn't be my fault. And I still wasn't askin' for it 'cause I had a short skirt or a low-cut top on. And it still didn't happen because I've had sex before and if I've had it once, hell, I'm ready and willing to have it anytime anywhere with anyone. And it still wasn't because I was sneaky and sly enough to snatch myself a guy who just wasn't strong enough to resist my feminine wiles.

It would simply be because despite all of those things, somebody made the choice to rape me.

vacation, all I ever wanted...vacation, had to get away

Sometimes, all I really want to write about is work-related venting or work-related-not-appropriate-for-everyone's-online-eyes, stuff and I forget that I really can use this space for just about anything else I want.

Plans are coming together for what the parentals and I will be doing when they come out next month. We never try and plan out every day because let's face it, that's no kind of relaxing vacation (at least not to the three of us) but we do like to get an idea for what we'll be doing. On the list is...

- Going, at least once or twice, to Zanies. The first year they come out, we went and nearly pissed our pants, the guy was so funny. Last month when my mom and aunt came out, we went and again, saw a hilarious comedienne. So it's become somewhat of a "must do" when Mom & Dad come out. We also got some free passes when we girls were there so the three of us can go twice this summer and wind up only paying as if two of us went once. See, math can be fun!

- Spending a night at the theatre seeing Jersey Boys. My dad mentioned that he wanted to see this forever and a day ago. I'm not really sure how big he and my mom are on live theatre but I know the music is the clincher for Dad and Mom seems to be pretty open to trying out just about anything. Live theatre is one of those things I'd throw money on all the time if I had more of it to throw around. So this should be super fun. Plus, I dig the oldies.

- A Chicago Trolley & Double Decker bus tour. We took the downtown one last year, where you can get on and off the bus at any of the designated pickup stops scattered through the downtown area. This year, we're going to do the Ethnic Chicago route, which takes us through Chinatown, Little Italy, West Loop / Harpo Studio, and Greektown. I've eaten once in Greektown, I've eaten several times at the restaurant across from Oprah's studio, but have never roamed around the neighborhoods. Ever since they started coming out here, my dad and I have wanted to stroll through Chinatown so this should be the perfect time. Especially considering that on July 20th, the Chinatown Summer Fair will be going on, which should be a great atmosphere in which to walk around the neighborhood.

- Since it's the only time my parents come out and have a car while they're here, we really have no choice but to take a trip to Swedish Heaven.

- I think the steakhouse of choice this year will be Ruth's Chris. As a lover of all things cooking / food-related, my dad likes to try out a nice steak place while they're here and we checked out Chicago Chop House last year. There are tons to choose from but Dad's mentioned that he'd really like to try this place out this year. My aunt said when she went to one in New York City, it was "the best fucking steak I've ever had." Here's hoping they serve chicken too.

Even though I'm staying in the place where I live (you may now commence with the REM singing), it's still an awesome vacation for me since:
a. I won't be at work
b. I get to hang out with my parents
c. I get to do the touristy things I don't usually do on my own

I wish I could go all Hermione on Chicago's ass and make it July already.

Sin City by way of Second City

Last night, a friend and I discovered a delightful little neighborhood bar / restaurant, Fat Cat, which may just become my new go-to place for low-key dinner and drinks. After that, I discovered yet another great thing...burlesque shows! We saw The Flaming Dames in their "Vegas, Baby!" show at The Spot, another local bar / restaurant pretty much down the street from me. I'd never been to a burlesque show before and I've gotta say, there's really nothing not entertaining about comedy, booze, and pastie-covered boobies. A couple of the women were a bit too thin and blonde for my liking but Blackjack Betty and Lady Di made up for it right nice.

Today, I rediscovered why I can't be one of those people who spends their entire weekend drinking because between the copious amounts of tasty Blue Moons consumed and getting to bed at nearly 4 a.m., I've been pretty close to being completely useless. I did, however, get around to finally ordering some dresses online for an upcoming work thing. Every year for their Managing Director meeting, they have it at one of the offices and this year, it's being held in Chicago. This means all of the MDs coming and all of the employees in the Chicago office are treated to a catered dinner on stage at The Pritzker Pavilion. So come June 2nd, I have to get myself all fancied-up and spend the evening wining and dining with company folk. I'm not really looking forward to that as much as mingling with those from work who are actually friends and spending what will hopefully be a gorgeous evening in the park. Here's hoping I'll be stylin' in a new summery, fun, flirty frock!

Hopefully, tomorrow I'll make up for today's laziness by by dragging my ass to the gym, pickin' up my apartment, finishing Snuff, and reverting back to elementary school and writing a little review of it to help me decide if I like it or think it's hideous. I'm about half-way through and am still not really sure what I think of it. Monday, I have an 8-hour hotline shift but being a holiday, I can take it from home, which means I can really do whatever I feel like doing as long as my phone is nearby.

Three-day weekends are lovely.

oh, the joys of my workplace

After a brief lunch discussion with a couple co-workers, when I returned to work, I researched "why they call it going commando" and sent them the following interesting facts about "going commando:"

1. A way for women to avoid having a panty line

2. A way to stimulate sexual arousal without anyone knowing (for girls, at least since we can hide it but you boys are obvious when you get all hot and bothered)

3. Also a term for masturbating (like we need another euphemism for that!)

4. Army explanation #1: Since battle is so intense, they would often "go commando" so that you didn't shit your underwear and could boas that you didn't shit your pants.

5. Army explanation #2: Since a lot of soldiers spend time in tropical, moist environments, they often went commando so they would avoid "crotch rot" and things such as anal itching, chafed penis, jock itch, (and some people believe) infertility.

Which ended with my suggesting that my male co-worker continue to go commando so if he and our IT guy (who I call his boyfriend 'cause I think he secretly wants him) ever decide to plant their seed in a surrogate and have a child, it will hopefully be easier.

Because "Trent, I care about you and your sperm!"

Inappropriateness, thy name is Janelle.

CNN, you're all class, baby

Clinton Hears Sermon on Infidelity

You know where the news is here? No? Are you sure you can't find the newsworthiness here?

That's because there isn't an ounce of it. I'm not a Hillary supporter but I do believe this is Exhibit #43,948 as to just what kind of royal shaft treatment she's getting as a woman who oh my god! dares run for the highest political office in the country.

If Bill hadn't have boinked someone other than his wife 10+ years ago, this wouldn't even be in the news. But since he did, the only possible reason this little tidbit has for existing in the "news" is to further humiliate her.

Here's to you, CNN.

Tools.

bla bla subject line bla

My semi-addiction to all things scentastic finally caused me to cave and try out Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. And if I could sit around all day just smelling myself, I would. Because I want to make sweet, sweet (yet dirty) love to my oils. Today, I'm wearing Lolita, a lovely mix of "glittering heliotrope, honeysuckle, orange blossom and lemon verbena," which makes me feel very...subtly sexy and summery. Tomorrow, I'll test out the Bordello, which smells fucking fantasic in the little vile and hopefully the "bawdy plum with amaretto, burgundy wine and black currant" will smell just as tasty on me. Then, I'll try Perversion, which doesn't smell as much like I thought it would in the vile but once it's on skin, could always be a bit different. 'Cause really, "smoky rum and black tobacco with a whisper of steamy leather with a splash of crystalline chardonnay, layered over a sensual, sweet, and deceptively magnetic base of tonka" has got to be good. The others don't smell particularly fantastic in their viles but I'll try those later too and see.

And now, I twiddle my thumb for the next 8-ish hours or so. Joy.