j'aime les Français

Even though I don't understand French to the extent I would like and can only translate a few lines here and there, sometimes I listen to this on my iPod.

Michael Polnareff's Love Me, Please Love Me



And it makes me feel entirely relaxed and carefree and happy.

Project Runway - Episode 11

Episode 11: Challenge: "Create a look for a fellow designer inspired by a specific musical genre."

Fun!! Next to the drag queen challenge, I think this was my fave.

Since we're sadly approaching the end of Project Runway, I'm going to mention every design since there are so few.

The Official Winner

Designer: Korto - designed for Suede - punk
I love this outfit and definitely agree that it deserved to win. And although he's a whack-a-doodle, I also loved Suede's punk persona.

Official Loser

Designer: Suede - designed for Jerell - rock 'n roll
I do like this outfit but I also agree with Heidi in that Jerell looked like...Jerell. It's not all that different from what the dude usually wears and Suede could have gone all out for having the rock 'n roll genre. Take this and combine it with his previous outfits and it's oh-so-obvious that he just doesn't quite have it. Janelle likes that Suede is gone.

Other designs

Designer: Jerell - designed for Kenley - pop
Once again, Jerell comes up with a fabulous outfit. Does this not just scream, "I'm a pop star!" without screaming, "I'm a trashy, gonna-leave-my-panties-at-home pop star!"? I think it does. I freaking hate Kenley but she looked great in this.


Designer: Leanne - designed for Korto - country
As easy as it would have been to go down the costume route for this one, Leanne didn't and again, designed something I pretty much love. Not overly redneck and instead, classy with a little country thrown in.


Designer: Kenley - designed for Leanne - hip hop
Ummm. Yeah. Sooooooo not hip hop at all. All of the judges were pretty shocked at how bad Kenley's outfit was but once again, her obnoxius ass sticks around. I do think Suede needed to go home but I wouldn't have been upset if Kenley left either. She can do 1950s pin-up girl and that's it. Plain and simple. Not to mention, she's defensive and snarky anytime anyone gives her any kind of criticism. I hope she sucks serious ass on the next one and gets booted.

do NOT insert a smiley face here

On the bus the other night on my way home from work, I was sitting by a young girl who was obviously coming home from school or the babysitter's, along with her mother. Her mother was in the seat next to her and a guy was standing in front of her (rush hour bus = packed). For almost the entire ride, from when the guy got on and when I got off, he stared at the little girl. Now and then, he'd have to move aside for someone getting off the bus or the crazy-assed bus driver who went entirely too fast for having a full bus and every time, the guy's gut (he was a bigger guy with a belly) seemed to go directly in the little girl's direction. Every now and then, she kind of wriggled in her seat a bit or cozied up to her mom. That's when he smiled the most.

It was fucking creepy. I came super close to saying, "hey asshat, do you think maybe you could not stare at this 6- or 7-year-old girl for the entire fucking bus ride?" but I didn't because I had no idea what stop he was getting off at and if it was mine...not a desireable situation.

So when I got off the bus, I very obviously must have looked disusted because two additional asshats were walking toward me and stopped and asked, "damn baby, why you look so pissed? Who you pissed off at?"

To which I replied, "fuck off" and went along my merry way. I think the next time, I'm going to say something along the lines of, "the next time I find out my mother just died, I'll slap a smile on my face for ya!" or "just found out I have HIV. Here's my cheery smile...hope it makes your day!"

I don't generally smile when I'm walking around. I generally look pretty much like a bitch. Most of the time, it's not because I'm in a particularly pissed off mood or because I'm constantly a bitch, it's just who I am. When I want to smile, I smile. But my default face isn't "everything's coming up roses."

Which is apparently a good thing because my smile may just be interpreted as provocative and cause someone to beat me to death with a fire extinguisher.

I don't care if this woman had a vagina or an obvious-to-the-world dong. Or two obvious-to-the-world dongs.

I hope this dude's ass rots in jail.

Project Runway - Episode 10

While I understand that the liklihood of my favorite designer being auf'd is pretty high, I'm just not getting the judges' thought process this season. I agree with most of the eliminations but not the timing of the eliminations. And if Suede winds up being one of the non-decoys at Fashion Week, I'm gonna grab my trendiest handbag and throw up in it.

Episode 10: Challenge: "Create a makeover look for a college-aged woman for entry into the working world."

The Official Winner

Designer: Jerell
Jerell has a funky little style and I do think he's as wildly innovative as he is talented. But I wasn't a huge fan of this outfit. The blouse looked sloppy and I'm not really sure how to describe it other than I just wasn't feeling it on this one.

Official Loser

Designer: Joe
Oh Joe. Your eliminations saddens me so. I admit this wasn't one of his best outfits and I agree with the judges that it looks way too "80s Working Girl." These days, you don't need to wear a pin stripe suit to look professional and I think he just missed the mark on this one. As a fan of low-cut tempting cleavage-y tops, I adore the blouse and want one. But as an entire outfit, the look was just too old. But not old enough to qualify for elimination, damnit! So that's one New York Fashion Week collection that was a decoy. Ya tricky Project Runway bastards!

Who Should Have Won

Designer: Kenley
Kenley is an over-confident pain right in the ass. I agree with some of the designers that all she can do is 50s style retro dresses but her super adorable outfit should have won this one (she thought so too as it was all sorts of obvious that she was pissed at not winning this challenge).

Who Should Have Lost

Designer: Suede
Seriously. Third-person-speaking Suede needs to take his ass home, like yesterday. He's in the bottom 3 a lot and consistently brings to the table something that's either so-so or just plain bad. I really just don't understand why the judges have kept him around so long.

Project Runway - Episode 9

Episode 8: Challenge: "With the help of a previously eliminated designer, create an avant garde outfit inspired by one of the designer's astrological signs."

The Official Winner

Designer: Jerell (with Jennifer) - Sagitarius
What has 2 thumbs and was seriously bummed that this outfit won the challenge? This girl! I love the fabric of the skirt but I hate the overall outfit. The feathery fringe on the coat...the coat itself...the high-waisted fucking skirt that I'm so sick of seeing everywhere. No way should this outfit have won.

Official Loser #1

Designer: Blayne (with Stella) - Libra
I'm not sure I really need to say anything about this outfit and its elimination other than, "amen, judges."

Official Loser #2

Designer: Terri (with Keith) - Leo
Beyotch Terri was quite shocked that she was booted with this outfit but I agree with it. The colors are pretty but the fabric of the skirt makes it look uber cheap. I think it belongs in a low-budget version of a Disney princess movie.

Who Should Have Won

Designer: Joe (with Daniel) - Aries
Once again, I think my man got the shaft. In addition to the spectacular colors, I think Joe's a very capable and talented designer and I think this is another outfit that was not only beautiful but looked like it was well made. I adore it.

Project Runway - Episode 8

Episode 8: Challenge: "Create a look inspired by the fall collection of fashion designer and icon, Diane Von Furstenberg."

The Official Winner
Designer: Leanne
This outfit is fucking gorgeous and I was hoping it would win. The gown is a slinky, sexy, flowy purple number and I think Leanne has the classiest sense of style out of all of them. If I were to splurge on an awesome outfit for a fancy night out, this would be it.

The Official Loser
Designer: Stella
I actually think Stella has a great kickass sense of style and I liked this outfit except for the vampire cape. But up close, it looked poorly made and I think this challenge made it clear that there she wasn't going to make it to Bryant Park.

Who Should Have Lost

Designer: Suede
I don't necessarily disagree with Stella being auf'd but I do somewhat think Suede should have gone home. The judges were pretty complimentary of Suede's outfit but I just didn't care for it. I don't think he's gonna make it to Bryant Park either and I just haven't been "wow"ed by anything he's done so far.

But seriously. Someone hunt down Leanne and make her create that outfit specifically for me, please.

Save the boobies!

Who doesn't love boobies? Well, perhaps gay guys and that's perfectly okay.

But even if you're a gay guy who isn't into boobies, I certainly hope you support doing whatever we can to ensure each and every unique pair is as healthy as can be.



On September 27th, I'll be walking in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, a little 3.1-mile walk at Chicago's beautiful Grant Park.

Should you feel so inclined to give a few bucks toward the cause, that would be phenomenal and very much appreciated by me and millions of others.

Click this little link here, won't you?

the world's a mess and i just need to rule it

And when I do, my first law may be:

There shall be no wearing of clothes while listening to Prince.

Doing so just feels wrong.

i want! want! want!

McCain, is this one of your...wait, how many houses do you have again?

This was my favorite photo from last night's longest masturbatory session ever, known as the RNC.

I thought it was delightfully reminscint of the great California high school of the 90s and was hoping for Brenda & Dylan to walk out holding hands or for Buffy to slay some serious evil beasties before Prom.

As usual, the Republicans disappointed me.

one of the many things I love about my father

Emails like this:

I think I will try to watch some of the other side's convention tonight. I will be a trash can next to me just in case I need to "up chuck". I may have to!! I would like to listen to the Princess VP to see what she has to say and to see how much "sunshine" she tries to pump in my butt. I really do not know who else speaks. That will probably be enough for me.

I can't wait for the debates. I hope they "take the gloves off" and we see a couple of good "12 round fights". I guess at this point I am just vindictive.

Will talk later.

LOVE YOU GIRL

My response may be something similar to what I told a good friend last night: "I'm gonna play 'take a drink every time you see a black person' and see how sober I can get."

oh George, my circuits burn for you!

When I build a robot, like the creator of Robot Laura Bush and Robot George Bush did, I'm going to be sure to include the following:

- the ability to move his / her eyeballs
- the ability to speak without the use of cue cards
- the ability to tell the truth (nobody's "kept me safe," sweetie, but ME)
- pronunciation skills (it's "moskeetoe," not "moskeetuh")

But most importantly, some fun phrases. Perhaps something like..."git er done!"

Oh, and a command that prevents them from saying the numbers 9 and 11 in the same sentence.

Oh, and a Robot Ronald Reagan so they can take turns making sweet, sweet robot love to it.

I need wine.

The Pillsbury Doughboy: Friend or Foe?

I'm nearly peeing my panties with glee that I've finally found out what exactly is causing that pesky little high divorce rate and bringing about the descruction of masculinity and those good ol' traditional, "get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, sweetie!" values.

The Pillsbury Doughboy and his fake biscuits.

If I wasn't being asked to actually do work for once at work, I'd comment on the hilarity.

Perhaps later.