misty, watercolour memories

Seeing as though I spend the majority of my workday playing Scrabble with a co-worker, reading my everyday blogs, and slacking off any way I can, it's no surprise that somewhere in my online travels, I stumbled across a site full of creative writing prompts.

Creative writing isn't my strong suit and I've always preferred to write about something someone tells me to write about. In college, I majored in English for two reasons: a. I wanted to read all the good stuff and b. I wanted professors to tell me, "write a paper about this" so I could "write a paper about that." I like direction. Order. Structure. I weigh the pros and cons of things. I analyze things until there's nothing left to analyze. Those traits don't lend themselves very well to just sitting down and writing about whatever pops into my head (or doesn't, which is often the case). Once I've been given something to start with, I can go to town. But when I'm tasked with coming up with that starting point, I'm often at a complete friggin' loss.

So, I've saved all 300-and-something of those creative writing prompts and am going to give some of them a shot whenever the mood strikes me. They're not all technically in the creative category but they are, at least, prompts. And really, the entire point is just to write. What better time than now, eh?

Write about a memory related to a holiday.

With my amazingly awesome family, I have tons of holiday memories; most of them just as awesome as the family that contributes to making them. Until recently, my favourite holiday memory was of a dress. My uncle has never been one to articulate his feelings with words or hugs but with material possessions. That's not to say he's not one of the most caring and generous men I know who loves his family dearly but I think it's just always been easier for me to show his affection in that way. One Christmas when I was maybe six or so, he gave me a dress. It was cream-coloured with a burgundy velvet sash around the waist and it was the most awesome dress I have ever owned. I don't remember a single thing about that Christmas other than that dress and I have no idea what year it was or if I really was six years old or not. But I remember standing in front of our fireplace and holding the dress up to show everyone. My mother has somewhere in her house a photo of me in the dress, which reminds me that I really need to ask her to find that.

But this past Christmas saw the bumping of that memory from my 'favourite' spot.

That same uncle isn't currently in the best of health. When I was a senior in high school, he had a liver transplant and this year, found out he needs another one but is no longer a candidate because of some lung issues he has. He's currently on oxygen and I imagine he will be until he's no longer around. He's tired all the time and doesn't go out much and even though he usually has on his big, comfy bathrobe, he curls up in blankets just about every chance he gets. For the past couple years, as his health has deteriorated, I think everyone has had in the back of their mind the knowledge that any Christmas could possibly be his last Christmas.

Every year, I make something for my family and everyone opens it together on Christmas Eve. In addition to the gift, I always write up a little something that explains why I'm giving that particular gift. This year, everyone received personalized wooden boxes in which there were a bunch of little business card-size pieces of construction paper with some of my favourite quotes on them. I think it's unfortunately quite easy to forget what's really important in life and for me, the kind of reminder that often works the best is one in the form of words. As I said in the explanation for my gift:

I think they're important and powerful and for me, they're sometimes all I need to remember the things that are ... well, often hard to remember. So, whenever you feel like it ... take a card out of this box and remember. Remember there are basic principles we should strive to live by. There are basic ways we should treat people. And perhaps more importantly, there are basic ways we should be treating ourselves.

After my mom read the explanation, everyone started flipping through some of the quotes and we went around and read a few. When we got to my uncle, you could see he had tears in his eyes (it's almost become my main goal of the gift to see if I can get Big, Strong, Tough Uncle Win to let his guard down and shed a tear or two). In a shaky voice but with a smile on his face that was clearly saying, "amen to this quote," he read one of the first cards he had picked up:

Wake up. You're alive.

It was absolutely perfect. It's a memory I will always have and one that comforts me when I find myself thinking about the day he may not be around to help make new ones with us.

how *do* you solve a problem like anticipation?

When cleaning out one's closet a week before Thanksgiving, it just makes good space-saving sense to pull out the 4.5-foot apartment-sized Christmas tree out and set it up in one's apartment-sized apartment, don't you think? Yeah, me too. I know it's a bit on the early side but while I was doing it, I figured I might as well get out the decorations and have at it. I'm antsy, damnit and I will not be ashamed.

Even though decoration-wise, I'm somewhat skipping over Thanksgiving, I'm very much excited for it this year; more so than I have been in the past. Since having moved to Chicago a gazillion years ago (okay, seven), I've spent several Thanksgivings by myself, which doesn't bother me. But this year, the parental units are hopping on the train, which will allow us to finally spend the holiday in my home instead of theirs. I do wish my brother could tag along so the four of us could spend it together but it gets a bit easier every year to adapt to the ever-changing holiday traditions.

This year, we're changing it up big time by not cooking dinner on Thanksgiving Day and instead, going out. Mom and Dad and I will be headed to for what I've heard is a delicious traditional Thanksgiving dinner. They'll be arriving a week from today, which is the day of the tree lighting ceremony at Daley Plaza. I've seen the tree plenty of times but I've never been to the ceremony and it's something my parents would love to see as well, so that's Item #1 on the intinerary.

'Cause what's not to love about watching Christmas come alive in the city?

(Photo stolen from here.)

The rest of the plans for the long weekend involve roaming around to see the downtown holiday lights / decorations and Friday night, we'll be going to The Sound of Music Sing-a-Long at Music Box Theatre, an awesome within-walking-distance theatre known for its independent and foreign films.

The next weekend? It's off to New York City with my mother and aunts and cousins for a Girls' Christmas Weekend!

I heart the holidays.

all I want for Christmas is NPH

I've had these soon-to-be classic holiday songs in my head since last night's episode.

the best holiday treats

Candy canes? Fruitcake? Eggnog?

Don't you remember? It's Schweddy balls!

my letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

Thank you for being a friend. Every year, you travel 'round the world and back again. And if you threw a holiday party and invited everyone you knew, although you usually are the giver of gifts, you would see the biggest gift would be from me. And the card attached would say: thank you for being a friend. And here is some milk and cookies. And could you please bring me this Golden Girls bag this year?



Thanks, Santa!

Question of the Day - 12/10/08

There are a lot of things we see most often in December, like caroling, potato latkes, mistletoe, mulled wine, eggnog, and returning gifts. What's your favorite holiday tradition?

My favorite holiday tradition has always been Christmas Eve.

I don't remember where the idea came from or the first time we did it but our family has always spent Christmas Eve at my parents' house. And although we're most likely changing it up this year, it's always consisted of a big, seafood dinner. My dad works for this upstate New York food service company and brings home fresh fish and crab legs and lobster and those little tiny legostinos that look like brains. My dad is in his glory when he's making a mess of his jail cell-sized kitchen so he spends the majority of the day there, while the rest of us help when he needs it. My uncle sits in the same chair with a blanket watching the news or his favorite show and the women usually wind up drinking some wine and despite the objections from my father and brother, putting on Christmas songs and cavorting around the house having a jolly ol' time.

It's usually just the Hamiltons (my "good" aunt, uncle, and two cousins) and my immediate family but one year, my mom did invite her other two sisters to spend it with us. My aunt and her alocholic husband came from Pennsylvania, my other aunt and my two cousins came, my "good" aunt and uncle and my two cousins came, and at that point, my maternal grandparents were still alive so they spent the holiday with us too. We had to borrow a table and folding chairs from one of my mom's co-workers and set it up in the foyer of the house but even with that, we used another card table and put it smack dab in the middle of the family room. It's the only time I remember the entire family being squeezed into my parents' small house and it's one of my favorite Christmas memories.

When I was younger, we went to Midnight Mass but as we Andy and I grew up and realized religion isn't really for us, we scrapped that tradition. Because Penn Yan doesn't offer midnight mass anymore, my mom has to go to Geneva (where my aunt and uncle live) so I still go with her so she doesn't have to drive alone late at night. I could take or leave that part of the tradition but part of me still can't help but associate Christmas with the smoky smell of the incense. And my cousin Ashley, aka the family entertainer, whispering and making smartass remarks that leave me spending most of the hour trying to cover up my laughter like a little girl who knows better than to misbehave in church. The choir always sings O Come, All Ye Faithful and I always cry and I always think back to one of my all-time favourite Christmas specials and how after Mr. Brady escapes from being trapped in one of his buildings, Carol and the rest of the bunch start singing it.

The night ends with my mom and I getting home close to two o'clock in the morning, wrapping ourselves up in blankets, turning on the Christmas tree, and sitting up in the semi-dark, looking at the tree and talking.

Over the years, bits and pieces of the holiday have melted away with the snow. My grandparents are no longer with us, my brother now has a family of his own with whom he spends Christmas morning, and with ever year, I find myself wanting more and more to spend the holidays here in Chicago. This is the first year I've found myself realizing just how comfortable I am with our changing tradtions and the fact there will be many more.

I guess it's because I don't ever feel like I'll forget the ones we've had so far.

as John Keats once said...

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.


Like a Christmas tree.

While back in New York for Thanksgiving, my mom and I got in the holiday spirit by getting her a Christmas tree. We've had a real tree for as long as I can remember but with my mom's illness this past year, the fact that she has to lug shit up and down the stairs from the cellar, and my dad having to haul a real tree in and out of the house, it just seemed easier to buy a good-quality fake one that will last and be much more manageable for them.

We went shopping the Saturday after Thanksgiving and the first thing we found was the tree. It's 7.5 feet tall, which proved to be just a smidge too tall for the family room so it's sitting at my parents' house decorated but sans angel. Which I prefer because for some reason, I hate angels atop a Christmas tree. While we were out, my mom also picked up a few new snowflake ornaments to mix things up a bit.


I also picked up my first Christmas gifts of the season; one for my brother and one for my father.


They were both delighted with their new Syracuse Orangemen ornament and it was the first to go on our tree after my mom and I had put it up. It's a nice complement to the SU banner hanging over the fireplace that my father won't allow anyone to remove.

We used to have the multi-colored lights and a bunch of random ornaments when Andy and I were little but as we got older, my mom started doing a color theme for the tree and it's been purple and silver now for a few years, which we both love, seeing as though purple is the most awesomest color ever. Look, purple and sparkly!


Now I just wait with childlike excitement and anticipation for Christmas.