While I'm all for removing the taboo nature surrounding some body parts, both in the sexual sense and the regular ol' everyday sense, this dude just creeps me out. I credit the, "little babies enjoy their assholes" comment.
But he *has* inspired a new "enjoy your asshole" tag. Sweet!
P.S. Since this isn't a porn-y "how to" site, you probably won't see that tag often. Probably.
Showing posts with label randomness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label randomness. Show all posts
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
I got your rigid definition of masculinity right here, television execs
I had fake eggs this morning and just realized the mug I grabbed out of the break room in which to nuke said eggs is a Spike TV mug.
- a Jack and an Ace from a deck of cards
- an odometer
- a Nintendo game controller
- brass knuckles
- a golf cart
- an arcade game controller (I think. It's a joystick and little red buttons...arcade controller, oui?)
- foosball men
- an overflowing beer mug
- a big ol' truck on big ol' wheels
- a woman with her legs spread wide, glancing back over her shoulder in that pose that is allegedly super sexy
- a joystick
- a martini
- a motorcycle
- a gun
- dice
- a hotel key (Rm 2, to be exact)
- a car
- what I believe to be a gas can?
- a car
- what I believe to be a gas can?
- a hammer
- a pack of matches
- a sneaker
- a guy with his leg up (I'm assuming he's a kick boxer. Ya know, the sport of the future)
- a urinal
UGH.
This is what the mug looks like now.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Dear Will Arnett,
Not only do I think you're one of the most hilarious men ever but I also very much enjoy watching you kiss a dude.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
math (not girls) is evil
A friend posted the following picture to his Facebook page, leaving me no choice but to blog about it since I can't say nearly what I want about it on that site.
Where does a girl begin? I guess with a disclaimer. I tend to think there are a total of probably two or three people who actually read this blog but what do I know? If there are others reading it who know where and from whom the proof originated, I'd like to state that my response to it has nothing at all to do with him as a person. Quite honestly, I think he's fantastic. But this is about the sucktastic math. Could he truly believe girls are evil? I suppose it's possible. Is the math proof nothing more than proof of his sarcastic, hilarious nature? I suppose it's possible. Either way, it got me thinking. The fruits of that labor is what follows.
1. Girls require time and money.
This is the part I take the most issue with. If you want to talk in terms of majority, sure, I'd probably be willing to bet that within the context of intimate relationships between people (of the opposite sex), more money may be spent on the woman than on the man. But I think that may be the case because society is constantly reminding us what the expectations are. The guy courts the girl (I fucking hate the word court but it seems most appropriate) by wooing her with gifts of some sort. He buys her flowers, he takes her out to dinner, he gives her jewelry in the middle of February. Sure, people defy these expectations but again, if we're talking about majority here, I'd be willing to bet the majority of people still operate under that dating mentality. If a woman offers to pay for dinner, it's often thought of as emasculating the guy. When was the last time a woman came to her date's door with a bouquet of flowers? Are both of those instances acceptable? Absolutely. Are either of them encouraged? Nope. Should they be encouraged? Hell yes. Not because you should never split a dinner bill between you and not because flowers are the greatest gift of all but because if there are going to be expectations, they shouldn't be based on who has the tits.
I believe relationships are about give and take and I believe they're about helping the person you're with live a happier life than if he or she was living it without you. If that means giving someone flowers, candy, and jewelry...great. If that means giving someone a first edition of their favourite book while growing up, drawing them a picture, or spending Valentine's Day listening to your favourite album rather than going to a concert...great. But having to spend money on your significant other should never be an expectation.
People are raised differently and grow up in different environments. I don't remember wanting for a lot as a kid but my parents never spoiled me or my brother. When they could, they gave us the things we wanted. When they couldn't, they explained why and that was that. We never had brand new cars, I had a job in high school, they never encouraged me to go into a profession in which I could make a million dollars a year. My best memories from childhood aren't anything that money was responsible for. They're the times we spent at my aunt and uncle's house having dinner together. They're of my dad always offering to drive me around with my friends. They're of my brother and I playing Scrabble (I'll take a "B," Chuck!) after it was time for lights out and we were both in our respective bedrooms. There was never much importance placed on money in our family because it was just never was something anyone in my immediate family cared much about.
And as an adult, that's stayed with me, as it has with the rest of my family. Life would easier if we didn't have to worry about it but we do and I accept that. The simple truth is that I'm responsible for getting the money I need to put a roof over my head, clothes on my body, and food in my tummy. And that's really it the extent of it. Anything above and beyond that is a bonus and should I want to share it with someone, I absolutely will. Not because I think I need to but because I want to.
2. Time is money.
Whatevs. I hate most quotes that revolve around the importance of money. Things are what they are. And the time I spend doing Act A is nothing more than the time I spend doing Act A. For most people, their time is spent doing something solely for the monetary pay-off; that's an unfortunate (I think) fact of life. But there are plenty of things one can do to fill one's time that do not need money to happen. And that doesn't necessarily mean what you're doing is preventing you from making more money. Stupidly untrue phrase.
3. Money is the root of all evil
I don't have it in me to get into this one because it's going to wind up being a whole philosophical bit about evil and I'm just not feelin' that. But to sum up, I do not believe the most evil, heinous things that have happened throughout history had much to do with a desire for money or a lack of money. Or much to do with money at all, really.
So.
I believe what we have here is a fallacious mathematical proof. Girls are not evil.
But math? Math is still evil. That will always be a truth.
Where does a girl begin? I guess with a disclaimer. I tend to think there are a total of probably two or three people who actually read this blog but what do I know? If there are others reading it who know where and from whom the proof originated, I'd like to state that my response to it has nothing at all to do with him as a person. Quite honestly, I think he's fantastic. But this is about the sucktastic math. Could he truly believe girls are evil? I suppose it's possible. Is the math proof nothing more than proof of his sarcastic, hilarious nature? I suppose it's possible. Either way, it got me thinking. The fruits of that labor is what follows.
1. Girls require time and money.
This is the part I take the most issue with. If you want to talk in terms of majority, sure, I'd probably be willing to bet that within the context of intimate relationships between people (of the opposite sex), more money may be spent on the woman than on the man. But I think that may be the case because society is constantly reminding us what the expectations are. The guy courts the girl (I fucking hate the word court but it seems most appropriate) by wooing her with gifts of some sort. He buys her flowers, he takes her out to dinner, he gives her jewelry in the middle of February. Sure, people defy these expectations but again, if we're talking about majority here, I'd be willing to bet the majority of people still operate under that dating mentality. If a woman offers to pay for dinner, it's often thought of as emasculating the guy. When was the last time a woman came to her date's door with a bouquet of flowers? Are both of those instances acceptable? Absolutely. Are either of them encouraged? Nope. Should they be encouraged? Hell yes. Not because you should never split a dinner bill between you and not because flowers are the greatest gift of all but because if there are going to be expectations, they shouldn't be based on who has the tits.
I believe relationships are about give and take and I believe they're about helping the person you're with live a happier life than if he or she was living it without you. If that means giving someone flowers, candy, and jewelry...great. If that means giving someone a first edition of their favourite book while growing up, drawing them a picture, or spending Valentine's Day listening to your favourite album rather than going to a concert...great. But having to spend money on your significant other should never be an expectation.
People are raised differently and grow up in different environments. I don't remember wanting for a lot as a kid but my parents never spoiled me or my brother. When they could, they gave us the things we wanted. When they couldn't, they explained why and that was that. We never had brand new cars, I had a job in high school, they never encouraged me to go into a profession in which I could make a million dollars a year. My best memories from childhood aren't anything that money was responsible for. They're the times we spent at my aunt and uncle's house having dinner together. They're of my dad always offering to drive me around with my friends. They're of my brother and I playing Scrabble (I'll take a "B," Chuck!) after it was time for lights out and we were both in our respective bedrooms. There was never much importance placed on money in our family because it was just never was something anyone in my immediate family cared much about.
And as an adult, that's stayed with me, as it has with the rest of my family. Life would easier if we didn't have to worry about it but we do and I accept that. The simple truth is that I'm responsible for getting the money I need to put a roof over my head, clothes on my body, and food in my tummy. And that's really it the extent of it. Anything above and beyond that is a bonus and should I want to share it with someone, I absolutely will. Not because I think I need to but because I want to.
2. Time is money.
Whatevs. I hate most quotes that revolve around the importance of money. Things are what they are. And the time I spend doing Act A is nothing more than the time I spend doing Act A. For most people, their time is spent doing something solely for the monetary pay-off; that's an unfortunate (I think) fact of life. But there are plenty of things one can do to fill one's time that do not need money to happen. And that doesn't necessarily mean what you're doing is preventing you from making more money. Stupidly untrue phrase.
3. Money is the root of all evil
I don't have it in me to get into this one because it's going to wind up being a whole philosophical bit about evil and I'm just not feelin' that. But to sum up, I do not believe the most evil, heinous things that have happened throughout history had much to do with a desire for money or a lack of money. Or much to do with money at all, really.
So.
I believe what we have here is a fallacious mathematical proof. Girls are not evil.
But math? Math is still evil. That will always be a truth.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
mullet with headlights
Quite possibly the funniest literal video ever. And a reminder of just how strange this video was.
Monday, May 4, 2009
this makes me :)
Seeing older couples together makes me happy. As does piano music. An older couple having what appears to be a great deal of fun playing the piano together = copious cuteness!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Major Taint, I salute you
So you may or may not have heard by now that OH MY GOD, the 14-time Olympic gold medal winner Michael Phelps has smoked weed.
The horror!!!
But the reason I post this is not because some swimmer got high. There is only one reason for this post.
From this story here (I know it's not the most reputable of sources but stay with me here for a minute), I give you the following quote:
Phelps is represented by marketing giant Octagon, which works with huge brands such as Mastercard and HSBC. They admitted proven cannabis use would be "a major taint" on Phelps' character.
Which makes me giggle like a schoolgirl who just heard her first dirty slang word.
Carry on.
The horror!!!
But the reason I post this is not because some swimmer got high. There is only one reason for this post.
From this story here (I know it's not the most reputable of sources but stay with me here for a minute), I give you the following quote:
Phelps is represented by marketing giant Octagon, which works with huge brands such as Mastercard and HSBC. They admitted proven cannabis use would be "a major taint" on Phelps' character.
Which makes me giggle like a schoolgirl who just heard her first dirty slang word.
Carry on.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
B===O~~~~
Contraceptive pill polluting the environment...and causing male infertility?
Ha! I've been unknowingly screwing with your sperm for 15 years, fellas! Having been successful in playing an essential role in helping the men of the world shoot blanks, I also now have no choice but to continue pissing on everything I can find so as to continue polluting the environment to the best of my ability.
For those of you not wanting children...you're welcome.
And I hope the reason for my crude subject line is now clear.
Ha! I've been unknowingly screwing with your sperm for 15 years, fellas! Having been successful in playing an essential role in helping the men of the world shoot blanks, I also now have no choice but to continue pissing on everything I can find so as to continue polluting the environment to the best of my ability.
For those of you not wanting children...you're welcome.
And I hope the reason for my crude subject line is now clear.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
lip foliage, flavor savor, lady tickler...
Whatever you call a mustache, I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree with this short list of celebrities who can and can't pull of the look. I've met a total of one person in my life who had one that I didn't find to be...well, creepy.
Got a little goattee? Cool. Got that rough stubble look? Cool? Even sometimes a beard on the right person can be doable. But a 'stache? I'm going to have to go with "no thank you."
Got a little goattee? Cool. Got that rough stubble look? Cool? Even sometimes a beard on the right person can be doable. But a 'stache? I'm going to have to go with "no thank you."
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
creepy-lookin'...
"This undated handout photo shows a creature called a pygmy tarsier, believed for the eight decades to have been extinct. One of the world's smallest and rarest primates, it was rediscovered in Indonesia by Texas A and M University professor Sharon Gursky-Doyen in August." - From Yahoo
...in a pretty cool-lookin' fetus/don't feet him after midnight kind of way.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
a joke
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale, it read 117 lbs. and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again, he asked where to go next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date..."how'd it go?"
Kim responded, "Oh Waura, it was wousy!"
Next, the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again, he asked where to go next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date..."how'd it go?"
Kim responded, "Oh Waura, it was wousy!"
Thursday, October 23, 2008
i love the 80s
A blog I regularly read has an "FYI" series in which they post these little gems for a variety of awesome 80s tunes.
I listened to this song this morning and it's one of my favorites in the series.
And a few of my other faves...
I listened to this song this morning and it's one of my favorites in the series.
And a few of my other faves...
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
i am a girl without a subject
It feels kinda funny to say it (rather, to write it) but I'm kinda glad my traveling for the year is almost done.
While in Mexico, my mom offered to pay for me to come back to New York for Thanksgiving but after checking out Amtrak (flights are always too ridiculous), even the train would cost over $200. Eff that. I'm thankful for my family every day and although I'd like to someday spend Thanksgiving with them again, I'm okay with not heading back to New York. My plan is to stay at home and take some hotline shifts so the awesome staff ladies can have some much-needed holiday downtime.
I did, however, book my $130 train ride home for Christmas, which will hopefully be the last travelling I'll be doing until next summer when the parentals and I are hoping to get back to Portland (Maine). Both to and from New York are night trips so it's not like I'm wasting any time since I'm gonna get on the train, sleep, and wake up in a different place. So for $130, you really can't beat that.
Mexico, as expected, was mucho bueno. I tried to upload my photos last night but for some reason, can't. So I'm going to mess around tonight and see if I can't figure out the problem so I can make a proper post, with photos and all.
But for right now, I'm going to continue to do a big fat nothing for the next two hours until my ass gets to go home!
While in Mexico, my mom offered to pay for me to come back to New York for Thanksgiving but after checking out Amtrak (flights are always too ridiculous), even the train would cost over $200. Eff that. I'm thankful for my family every day and although I'd like to someday spend Thanksgiving with them again, I'm okay with not heading back to New York. My plan is to stay at home and take some hotline shifts so the awesome staff ladies can have some much-needed holiday downtime.
I did, however, book my $130 train ride home for Christmas, which will hopefully be the last travelling I'll be doing until next summer when the parentals and I are hoping to get back to Portland (Maine). Both to and from New York are night trips so it's not like I'm wasting any time since I'm gonna get on the train, sleep, and wake up in a different place. So for $130, you really can't beat that.
Mexico, as expected, was mucho bueno. I tried to upload my photos last night but for some reason, can't. So I'm going to mess around tonight and see if I can't figure out the problem so I can make a proper post, with photos and all.
But for right now, I'm going to continue to do a big fat nothing for the next two hours until my ass gets to go home!
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