it is NOT a weapon

A bunch of safe sex advertisements

Most of these, I like. If MTV is looking to turn me one while reminding me of the importance of being safe, consider it done! And the one with the girl at her computer makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.

This one, on the other hand, does not:

Image #1:I loathe "penis as a weapon" imagery but whatever. It does have the ability to become a deadly weapon. Fine, I get it.

Image #2:Right, yes. If I take precautions, it's less likely said penis will become a deadly weapon.

The problem I have is with Image #3, which I'm providing in a link because of the main problem I have with it: The copy reads, "Girls, protect yourself. Demand your partner wear a condom."

Really? Did nobody in the marketing group responsible for this ad think it could possibly be triggering to someone who has been a victim of sexual assault or gun violence? Hell, I haven't been and it still makes me cross me legs and cringe to see a gun pointed at some random woman's snatch. Then again, it's really not some random woman. It's some random headless, humanity-free hole because let's face it...nobody wants to look at a face when they're thinking about fucking (or hurting) a hot, naked chick, do they?

Which leads me to the second point. This woman is very obviously shaved or waxed. So not only is a gun pointed at her, it's pointed at the oh-so-pretty-every-woman-must-have-one-so-she-looks-like-a-little-girl bald bajingo. I've got absolutely nothing against keeping the nether regions nice and tidy but for the love of 70s porn, can I please see a stray hair somewhere? And the hairless images never come with tips about the pros and cons of shaving or waxing. It comes along with the subtle and sometimes not so subtle implication that dudes dig it so we should be digging it too. Apparently, even with a gun pointed at it, it needs to meet the socially-accepted standards of beautiful.

Now, the copy. Girls, protect yourself. Demand your partner wear a condom. I'm all for that. As every person does, I have every right in the world to decide how someone comes into contact with and touches my body. Every woman absolutely should take it upon herself to make sure she (and her partner) are protected. But who's making the demands here? If you're the one sans gun power, you're the one without the ability to make demands. The goal of any safe sex ad should be to empower the people looking at it to realize they have the right and responsibility to ensure their safety and sexual health. I see no female empowerment when a gun is pointed between one's legs.

I asked a male friend for his opinion and what he thought when first seeing the ad. His response was:

That a man's penis can be seen as a weapon and some men see women as a place to use their weapon.

Interesting. Sex (whether safe or not) wasn't the first thing on his mind...violence was.

I'm almost done reading The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women and this ad reminded me of the tools abstinence supporters use to get their silly little point across, which are almost always rooted in fear. And it drives me absolutely batty when sex is portrayed as something terrifying.

Scaring people into not having it is not the way to get people to start subscribing to your idea of morality. Shaming those who do is not the way to show them the error of their ways (especially since it's neither shameful nor sinful). Withholding it is not a way to punish a nagging spouse. Using it as a bartering tool is not the way to get what you want. Manipulating, coercing, forcing someone to do it is not the way to assert your misplaced feelings of dominance.

It is NOT a weapon. It's sex.