While the Red Eye sure as hell isn't anywhere near as news-filled as the Chicago Tribune, I pick it up everyday simply so I can do the crossword puzzle and the sudoku (until Thursday, which is when it gets too difficult for me). But today, I notice my horoscope says:
A massive pileup of friendly planets could create a personal breakthrough. Finally, you'll find a pair of jeans that make your butt look great. For once, when you walk up to a cute girl at a bar and ask her "What's your sign" she won't smack you in the face.
Personal breakthroughs are always welcome and I'm hoping for a couple while I'm back in New York for vacation. And I did actually find jeans over the weekend that that I love my ass in.
But what's with assuming I'm a dude who's trolling for drunken girl bar ass? I'm sure there are guys who read the horoscopes but something tells me more women do than men. Some of the other signs have "he'll do this" and "she'll do this"...how about letting me know if I'm gonna get smacked for hitting on a guy in a bar? Or if I'm going to become the type of person who hits on someone at a bar in the first place?
Or perhaps this is all just an entirely moot point since I generally tend to think horoscopes are complete phooey?
Yeah, let's go with that.
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